Tips for breaking the ice ... and increase your success!

First of all, before getting in touch with other members, make sure you have the most complete profile possible. Before reading a received message, the majority of members consult the profile of the sender of the message. And it is often the member's profile that leads them to decide whether or not to read a message received. An empty profile is very unattractive and suggests that your approach is not serious. Some members sometimes say that it is by talking that you get to know each other. This is not incorrect. But it is still necessary that you have given your correspondent the desire to know you!

Personalize your exchanges

Avoid writing a generic message and sending it to multiple people. Statistics show that a member who sends the same message to multiple people has an 8 times lower response rate than members who send different messages to each recipient. It is no wonder. Everyone prefers to feel that their profile has been selected among others than to think that the same message has been sent to 10 other people.

Target profiles well

In addition, to increase your success rate, it is obviously important to take into account the “ideal partner” section of your correspondent. For example, if a member clearly specifies that he wants to meet people of a certain age group, a certain region or with a specific lifestyle, we advise you to respect their preferences. If you don't match some of their criteria, let them know that you are aware of it and ask if they are important points or not. If, on the other hand, you do not correspond at all to the criteria indicated in the section “Ideal partner”, there is unfortunately a good chance that you will not get an answer. We therefore advise you to turn to other members with whom you have more affinities, in order to avoid unnecessary disappointments.

Be original and curious

Finally, we strongly recommend that you start the conversation from your first message. Ask the recipient of your message questions, ask them to tell you more about things mentioned in their profile, explain to them why you think you have hooks with them. It's hard to find a topic of conversation with a stranger. If you make the effort to offer a few to the other person, you are more likely to get back to you quickly. Although compliments are very pleasant to receive, also avoid writing only: "Hi, I find you very beautiful!" since the person can hardly find anything to answer other than: "Thank you!".

Write "open" messages

Write your message as if you were leaving a message on that member's answering machine, rather than chatting live on the phone with them. Do not send him a message that says only “Hi, you want to chat?”, “Are you okay?” or any other question that is answered only with "yes" or "no". Instead, favor an approach like:

Hi, I like your profile because [reasons].
I think we would be compatible since I too like [one of your common interests] and I quite agree when you say [part of his personal presentation].
You write in your profile that you work in [industry], but what do you do exactly? I hope to hear from you.

You are not receiving replies to your messages?

Here are some possible reasons and some suggestions to increase your chances of getting a response.

The messages "Hi!", "How are you?" or "Come see my profile!" rarely generate interest. Try a more elaborate formula, a more personal approach. Find something in common and start the conversation by referring to it. Example: region, interest, character trait, life experience, hobby, etc.

Is the contacted member a Premium or Discovery Member? If this is not the case, and if you yourself are not a Premium Member, communication is more difficult. Indeed, Discovery Members can only enter into direct contact with Premium members. Think about it! Visit the Subscription section to find out about the different prices and payment methods.

Have you noticed the nature of the relationship sought by the contacted member? Some seek an exclusive romantic relationship, others an affair without commitment. Everyone's quest is different and everyone's choices must be respected.

Also notice the person's sexual orientation. Although in theory bisexual people are attracted to both sexes, they are more often looking for a person of the same sex on dating sites.

Pay attention to the "Ideal Partner" section of the person contacted. Gender, orientation, region and age range are initialized according to the member's information, but if he has taken the trouble to specify something else or to fulfill additional criteria, it is probably criteria which him. take to heart.

To avoid

Messages that are excessively long, too short, or filled with errors.
Messages written entirely in capital letters. On the internet, this is considered to be screaming.
Messages without any punctuation or difficult to read.
Generic messages sent to multiple people.

Pay attention

Compliments on physical appearance. It is possible that the contacted member perceives this message as a simple physical attraction.
Stay in good taste. Members seeking a romantic relationship are often unresponsive to messages of a sexual nature. As for members looking for an adventure, even if they are more receptive, the approach must remain respectful.

Suggestions to try

Ask a few easy-to-answer questions that open up a dialogue.
Mention a few things in common. Example: hobbies, passions, values, favorite artists, outings, trips, etc.
Promote a positive formula. Emphasize the qualities you are looking for rather than listing the character traits you shun. Example: "I look for frankness and trust" rather than "I hate hypocrisy and jealousy".
Based on the person's writing style and how they describe themselves. Play the game of seduction by embracing the shape of his written expression. Example: if the other writes in his presentation "I am looking for a sailor to sail with two", stand out by trying "I introduce myself, Captain Robert, ready to sail towards new horizons with you!"

Do not forget

Don't be turned down like it's a personal failure. All tastes are in nature.



Check our FAQ to find the answer to the majority of questions.
For any other question you can contact us in our contact section.

If you are a member, please contact us via your member area in the section provided for this purpose.

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